World Apart
by Yoru no Mukou
Summary: AU. "Nagihiko, you're in Seiyo Psychiatric Hospital. You're here because you were a victim of Monarch Programming for 16 years. Rima, and whoever else you grew up in that reality you created are all fake." No one ever said facing reality was easy. —14.
1. Prologue: Goodbye

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World Apart.

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Prologue.  
Goodbye.

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**Once upon a time, there lived a boy. His name was Nagihiko,  
and he loved to dance...and something else.**

. . .

I've been with her for a year now, and frankly, I think I love her.

"Hey, will you hurry up!" She says, glaring at me.

I smile, speeding up. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Where are we going anyway?"

"The Mall," she says. "We haven't gone christmas shopping yet."

I take her hand, watching her blush slightly.

"I-idiot," she murmurs. But she doesn't let go of my hand.

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**. . . **

**The boy lived in a perfect world,**  
**was in love with the prettiest girl who loved him too! **

**But one day something happened...**

**. . .**

We've just finished shopping and right now were drinking hot-chocolate. Well, I was, until something caught my eye. It's gleaming under the fluorescent light and shining like it's brand new. It's a gun.

"Rima, do you see that?" I point at the gun.

"See what?" She says.

I frown. How could she not see it? "I'm not kidding. That guy, right over there—the one by that ice-cream shop."

She squints her eyes. "No...I don't see anyone there. Nagihiko, are you sure you're okay—?"

I can't hear her. All I notice is that man's twisted smile and his gun.

He's got a gun.

He's got a _fucking_ gun in his _fucking _hand. He's holding it. In his hand. In plain view of the whole goddamn world. And yet, no one notices. Not Rima, not the woman who passed him, no one.

They don't even look at him.

They just keep walking around, minding their own business. As if it doesn't even matter. As if no one is in danger right now.

"Nagihiko?" Rima says. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Are you sure you can't see him? He's right there!" My voice is rising, who gives a damn, really?

He's got a fucking gun. He could shoot us all up. Just aim, pull the trigger and bang! You're dead, I'm dead. We're all dead. There'd be screaming and crying and sirens everywhere.

"No," she says. "_What's _wrong with you?"

I grab her hand. "Let's go!"

"Nagihiko you're insane!" She growls taking her hand back. "There's nothing there!" She stomps over to where I pointed. _To the man._

"Rima stop—!"

She walks right past him. The man doesn't even notice her, instead, he notices_ me. _

He's smiling, his gun pointed straight at me. I can hear him.

"Time to wake up, Nagihiko," he says. His voice is robotic. Programmed, even.

BANG!

BANG!

_BANG!_

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**. . .**

**The boy woke up that day,**  
**h****e learned something that day. **

**. . .**

Three shots.

One in the chest, the leg and...

...the heart.

Rima notices the man now. Everyone does now. So, people start screaming. They're running around everywhere, hands in the air, children against their mother's breast. I hear an alarm in the background. And a kid just pissed himself.

Someone just called the police.

Rima is by my side, crying, telling me she loves me, and telling to shut up.

_("Don't cry, I'm fine. Look? See? Th-this is nothin', Ri-tan. It's nothin'.")_

"Ri-tan," I say. "I think I'm gonna take a nap, 'kay?"

She's crying harder.

_("No, Nagihiko don't! Nagihiko...! Nagihiko!")_

I think.

_("Please, please don't...!")_

I don't know. My ears are ringing, and the light is becoming blinding.

_("Don't leave, Nagihiko. Please...")_

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He realized..

...The reality he died from was fake, and today, he woke up from it.

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I can hear things, now. Voices. People moving. The wind.

Is this death?

I open my eyes, and a voice cries, "he's awake!"

The light is blinding. I keep them closed for a second before opening them again. I look around.

I'm in a hospital.

"H-hello?"

"Nagihiko!" A man says. He's wearing a lab coat. I can feel myself shake as I stare at him. Am I afraid? Why am I afraid of this man? He seems nice enough. He probably saved a lot of lives. He could be a doctor. A scientist, maybe.

I shiver.

"Where am I?"

He sighs. "First tell me this: what's your name?"

I blink. Is this a joke? "You just said it. It's Nagihiko."

He smiles. "Good. Now do you remember where you've been for the past fifteen years?"

This is getting ridiculous. "I've been living with my family. Going to school. Hanging out with my friends. I even have a girl—" I don't finish.

_Where's Rima? _

"A what?" The man says, he doesn't look happy.

The mall. The gun. The man. It's all coming back. "Where's Rima?"

The man is frowning now. "I was afraid of this."

"Where's Rima?" I cry. "If you did something to her—!"

He sighs tiredly. "She doesn't exist."

"You're kidding right—?"

"No, I'm not," he interrupts. "She does not exist, Nagihiko. Or at least, the Rima in your world doesn't exist."

"Yes, she does!" I protest. "Where the hell am I, anyway?"

He hesitates, looking at me with something akin to pity and explained, "you came here 3 months ago."

"Where?" I shout. "Where the fuck am I?"

"You came here 3 months ago after you rescued. Nagihiko, you're in Seiyo Psychiatric Hospital. You're here because you were a victim of Monarch Programming for sixteen years. Rima, and whoever else you grew up in that reality you created are all fake. They never existed, Nagihiko."

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TBC.


	2. i: Hello

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World

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Apart.

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("Things disappear.  
Memories fade. Pictures fade. Buildings crumble.

**Nothing will ever last.**

I thought love did. I thought our love was different. That we'd last. But even that goes away to...

**It didn't even exist**.")

_—_**i.**  
Hello.

**.*.**

The doctor told me that Monarch Programming is mind control. Well, in my case it was. I had a handler, and my handler would keep me under a coma to test some theories that her higher-ups had.

One of them is, _Can humans be taught while their brain is unconscious? _

"The Press are going crazy," my doctor tells me this afternoon while I was being taught how to walk. I did once. Walking, I mean. Or, at least I thought I did. My doctor is suprised that I could even comprehend a word he was saying. He tells me that I am special, that I am the last survivor of the 13 children who were used as lab-rats.

(The second is, _Can humans be taught mannerism without even escaping their own minds?)_

My doctor tells me that the others' brains could no longer be able to keep up creating a world to escape the trauma. Apparently, to be able to create what my doctor tells me is your brain's "emotional defensive mechanism" is that you need to put under serve trauma. After I was born, it seems my parents had given me up to these people and they had tortured me until I finally created my world.

(The third is, _Can humans be taught to speak while unconscious?) _

The only reason why I was able to keep up my world was because I was put under this procedure as an infant. The others were put while toddlers.

Next month, my nurse tells me, is the month that I will be put under the care of a family.

(The fourth is, _Can humans be taught to adapt while under?)_

**.*.**

"Long hair!" A young child cries. She is my new sister.

Her name is Aimi.

The man and woman showing me to their house is my new father and mother.

They are Mom and Dad.

The girl scowling, is my new sister as well.

Her name is Amu.

These people are from now on my family.

"Have a dream for your future" the doctor told me when he was showing the files of my new family. I tell him that that is an irresponsible line. I tell him that my dreams swelled, then bursts the day I came here.

**.*.**

I am in my room now, I've been in this room 105 times. It's 1:49 am right now.

_We have nothing_**, **I hear a hollow voice tell me.

I have a family now, I say to it. They like me. They are nice to me.

_They'll disappear, I know they will, _It says. _Things disappear. Memories fade. Pictures fade. Buildings crumble. Nothing will ever last._

The doctor told me some things do, I say.

_NOTHING STAYS, _It hisses. _NOTHING. Not even love. _

I say nothing.

_Pinch your cheek, and open your eyes, let's get out of this prison,_ It tells me. _You have nothing here. _

I have nothing. Ah... and there is nothing for me here. In Reality. That's right, this is Reality.

_Escape,_ It whispers. _Go, escape. _

I hear hushed laughter. Numbly, I head to Amu's room. It's Friday, well, Saturday as of right now, really. She must have another friend sleeping over.

I slowly open the door. Giggles disappear. Movement is heard. Lights are turned off.

"Oh," Amu says. "It's just Nagihiko. Don't worry, Yaya."

A girl slowly crawls from a comforter.

"That's your new bro, right?" She says, giving me a little wave. "Nice to meet you."

I simply stare.

"Is he okay?" She asks, a little worried.

_It's not her,_ It hisses. _It's not her. _

"Hey, Nagihiko, you okay?" Amu says.

"...not her." I close her door, and head to my room.

_Disappear,_ It hisses. _Disappear. _

**.*.**

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**Dear Mom, Dad, Aimi, and Amu. **

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_Disappear. Disappear. Escape. Escape. _

I am standing someplace high. I do not remember where, or how I even got here. Frankly, I don't care.

_Find her. Find her. Go. Go. _

I close my eyes. I can hear them. People. They are like ants, crowding below me.

("Fuck, that guy's gonna jump!")

("Call the police!")

_Find her. Find her. Find her. _

("JUMP!")

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**If you find this, I am either dead, or severely injured.**

—

_Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave._

("Shut up, asshole!")

I wonder why are they so many people out so late in the night.

("What? He aint gunna jump. He's got no balls.")

("What if that's a girl!")

I'm a boy, I know that much.

("Fuck that, this just some stupid stunt to get attention.")

("JUMP, ATTENTION-WHORE!")

_Go. Go. Go. Go._

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**I do not hate life, and I do not hate myself. **

**I simply hate Reality. **

**I want to go back, and I think today is the day I will. **

**Thank you for your hospitality and kindness.**

**Sincerely, Nagihiko.**

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("The police are here!")

_GO. GO. GO. GO. _

("JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!")

Oh, it's a chant now?

_FIND HER. FIND HER. FIND HER. _

("OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE JUMPED!")

Hn.

Are you satisfied?

(The fifth one is, _Can humans be taught how to feel while being unknowingly shut into a mind-prison?)_

**TBC.**


	3. ii: Bonjour

.:.

("When you've been going **up **all your life  
the only place left to go is..

...

...

...

...

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_**("DOWN.")**_

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W.o.r**l**d

Ap.a._**r**_t.

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.:.

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_—_ii.  
Bonjour.

..

..

..

_You can go as high up as you your imagination can take you... _

_..._

_..._

_.._

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

("Don't leave...")

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

("Nagihiko...please, don't leave me again. Please.")

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

("Nagihiko? Can you hear me? Please, please don't go again! Stay with me...please.")

I open my eyes_—slowly__—_allowing them to adjust to the flood of light. It takes me a few seconds to realize that I am in a hosptial bed. _Again_. I slowly try to sit myself up, realizing that_ I can't. _

"Oh, you're awake," a uninterested voice utters. It's a nurse. A young one. She makes her way over to my bed, adjusting my sheets. "Don't even try talking, or like, moving. Doc says you won't be ready for that until at least 2 weeks."

"Oh."

Her eyes_—blue__—_widen for a second. Then she smirks. "Okay then. I guess you're good to walk, eh?"

I stare at her, then realize she's made a joke. "You're not funny."

"Gee," she says, her voicedripping with sarcasm. "Now I can't become a comedian! My poor dad'll be crushed by this revelation."

"How long have I been like this?" I ask.

"Um...let me check your stat board," she regards the chart by my bedside. "Ouch. You've been in and out of a coma for about eight months. Oooh, looks like you fucked up your right leg for good, Mr. Suicidal."

"I see."

"You're taking this all really well."

"You have blue eyes...but your hair is red.."

"Oh, yeah, I dyed it. Blond isn't really me, y'know? Hey...what's with that look_—_"

"What is your name?"

"You sure are direct. It's Mashiro."

I can't breath. Could it be her...is it really Rima? Is she an actual person after all?

I can't breath.

I can't breath.

I can't breath.

Is it...is she...?

Words fail to form, until I finally are able to ask: "M-mashiro _what_?"

She stares at me as if I'm crazy, then replies, "Mashiro Hyemi, why?"

...

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..

_Just remember that below always lies Reality. _

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..

..

**TBC. **

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**_NOTES_: **Hyemi, is a Korean name. As in, that's not Rima. XD Sorry to crush any hopes.

All will make sense soon, darlings. :D

Thanks to those who enjoyed this! You make my day! :)

(LOL, when Nagi goes 'I can't breath' three times, I can't help but think of Miss A's _Breathe. _XD)


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